


white picket fence

by querxes



Series: small town, sad song [1]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, M/M, Prom, Small Towns, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25193752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/querxes/pseuds/querxes
Summary: Jack only laughed at himself. “As always, all I should have said was, ‘I love you,’” Jack shrugged himself off. “You wanna know what I said instead? ‘You’re my best friend too, Dave. I’m gonna miss you.’ I can’t believe I said that. I’m such a damn fool. I had the opportunity and I—” Jack groaned, tossing the bag of chips in his lap to the side. He held a hand to his forehead, blinking his eyes wildly.small towns are hard for queer kids.
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly
Series: small town, sad song [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825099
Comments: 21
Kudos: 50





	white picket fence

**Author's Note:**

> This is thanks to the lovely @benafee on tumblr for sending in the prompt “As always, all I should have said was, ‘I love you.’” Don't worry, there will be a second part for everyone who was curious.

Jack yanked the bag of salt and vinegar chips closer to him, sniffling dejectedly. He and Charlie sat on the wicker couch on Medda’s back porch as the sun rose, still wearing their dress shirts and pants from the night before. Race was God knows where, likely passed out somewhere with Spot, and they knew he wouldn’t be wandering home until around midday or later. Jack stared out into the backyard, sniffling and stuffing his mouth full of the salt and vinegar chips. They stung the parts of his cheeks that he had bitten into.

Jack threw himself into his words and his mind, letting the description wash him away. “You didn’t see him sitting there last night, Charlie,” he sighed. “I swear to God, the air was different. His eyes—they were so wide, and he—” Jack groaned, running a hand down his face. “We drove way far out, you know that field way out on that dirt road, I think it’s near where Race’s second foster parents lived?” He pointed vaguely out east with a loosely-held wrist.

Charlie nodded. Jack continued, eyes stinging. “Anyway, we drove my truck way out so we could see the stars like Dave wanted. We threw our suit jackets over the back of the truck and sat in the truck bed, and Dave loosened his tie, just enough so that you could see that ‘v’ of skin starting on his collarbone, and he looked at the stars and he told me that this was the best way to end a prom night, with his ‘best friend,’ especially since everything’s gonna be changing soon,” Jack laughed, tears carving down his cheeks angrily. “I know this might just be the small-town gay in me talkin’, but, oh man, sitting in the back of a truck and looking up at the stars is usually how you lead into a proposal, right?”

Charlie didn’t laugh. He saw the self-depreciating crook of a smile on Jack’s face. Jack only laughed at himself. “As always, all I should have said was, ‘I love you,’” Jack shrugged himself off. “You wanna know what I said instead? ‘You’re my best friend too, Dave. I’m gonna miss you.’ I can’t believe I said that. I’m such a damn fool. I had the opportunity and I—” Jack groaned, tossing the bag of chips in his lap to the side. He held a hand to his forehead, blinking his eyes wildly.

“It’s just, the words were in my head, they were in my mouth, I was gonna say them, and I looked at him, and I couldn’t. And now I’m spending the morning after prom night eating chips and crying over a boy,” Jack snarled. _“_ Dave’s—he’s— _ugh,_ he’s gonna get the hell outta here someday, and he’s gonna meet a nice fella who treats him right, and he’s gonna get married and have a thousand degrees and a great job in the city as the best damn lawyer out there with a closet full of sweater-vests and raise a family probably with a dog and cat and—where am I gonna be? Stuck here, probably, I’ll drop out of art school and get a job at the 7-11 with my luck.” He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Get a girl pregnant like everybody expects me to.”

“Like Sandra from Biology,” Charlie deadpanned. The long-running joke fell flat this time.

“Yeah, like Sandra from Biology.” Jack huffed, wiping tears from his eyes. The air sat in his chest heavy. Years of repression were coming to an end, and it was worse than he expected it to be.

“It’s not _ fair,” _ Jack sobbed, eyelids heavy. “I love him, I really do, Charlie. And he—he just thinks we’re best friends. Seven years going strong, been in love with him for five of ‘em and he still doesn’t know.” He stared up at the porch ceiling, arms crossed over his chest. “I watched him the whole night. When him and Sarah did those swing moves they learned when they were kids with the complete wrong music, when he tripped over his own feet not even ten minutes later. He was worried he wasn’t gonna have a good time, but he was so happy the entire night. He kept smiling the whole time, even through the pictures. And he  _ hates _ having his picture taken.

“Then I take him out in my truck like we’re already married. How could he not know how queer-coded that is? He doesn’t know.” Jack threw himself against the back of the wicker couch, groaning exasperatedly. “God, am I gonna get an invitation to his wedding in like, ten years? Are we gonna awkwardly talk to each other after not speaking for so long? Would he…would he even  _ think to invite me?” _ That made things so much worse. The thought of Davey forgetting him was—

It was unbearable, to put it lightly.

The sun shone through the porch now, just peeking through the trees. It was going to be a beautiful day, one they’d spend sleeping off with the windows cracked and backs turned to block out the light. Jack would refrain from staring at his phone, waiting in anticipation for any new messages that would never come.

Charlie sighed. “Jack, I think even if you _ did  _ tell him, he would never hate you for it like you think. I don’t know what he would do, but there’s always the chance he feels the same way about you.”

The conversation froze in air, suspended over their heads as the morning birds chirped their melodious songs in the trees. This was a conversation had many times before, but it fell heavier this time around.

“It’s not worth the risk,” Jack sniffled. “I’m not gonna lose him in the months we got left in this hell town.”

“I know,” Charlie sighed.

The conversation stayed that way, hanging and swinging from a pendulum that ticked down the time. This small town was chewing Jack up and spitting him out as a farewell gift. It was choking him with the thought of reinvention somewhere else, but never being able to come up with a life anywhere else in the back of his mind.

In his mind, him and Davey already owned a white-picket fence. If only Davey could see it too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you think!  
> Come yell at me on tumblr @thetruthabouttheboy or my main @querxes


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